It took me years to tell you things that I never and cannot tell you personnally after the break up. The things that I wanted you to know, how you have hurt me so bad, how i have been hoping that we would get back together and how I managed my life without you were all kept hidden somewhere in my brain. Now that we are "okay" and somehow managed to forego of our history, I want to say to you the things that I never said in the past.
The hurt was equally reciprocal to the love
I can say this now because I have moved on and obviously you did too. Thinking that the hurt was too bad after you left me, it overshadowed the love that we had when we were together. Remembering the moments of laughter and fun of just being together somehow erases the pain of being apart. We were so compatible then that even with the colors of our clothes matched without planning or talking to each other. You pampared me so much that I actualy forgot how to do things without you. I was always protected by you from any harm be it physical or emotional. You would always be the shield so that the hurt will not reach me. You ttook all the blows and the jabs of life for me. We were partmers, the best that we could ever be. And I thank you for being loyal and faithful to me. That is why you will always be my favorite "what if."
Maybe this is how I manged to move on. The hurt that I experienced was equal to the love that you have showered. Back then, I wanted to get you back, fight for you and take you back into my arms but you have decided that you do no want me anymore. I had questions, lots of them. Like what have I done to deserve this? Can I do something else to wake up from the nightmare? Would you love me still?
I loved you then, do I love you still?
After a few years of parting ways, we eventually acted like adults. Are we friends? Yes, maybe. But they say if ex lovers became friends, it's either they never loved each other or they are still in love with each other. I loved you then I am sure of that. The question now is do I love you still?
You are the one that got away, let's keep it that way.
I never wished tto be with you in another life maybe because we were not really meant for each other. In another life, there would not even be an "us". Not even in another time when we are older, wiser and bolder that there would be a chance for the two of us. You have slipped away from me, you will always be the one that got away.
