Single but not ready to mingle

I can still quite recall how my last relationship ended.  Seeing myself crying and begging him to stay but to no avail.  Bargaining for anything just to extend the relationship.  Hoping that he will change his mind and choose me over the other woman.  It had been a nightmare for quite some time.  I can't recall how much it hurts but it did hurt like hell.  I thank God with time my wounds healed not because i had another relationship, but because i chose to be single and to concentrate more on myself.  I am actually a single parent, but that's another story and that is a big factor why I have chosen to be single and not ready to mingle. 

Don't get me wrong.  I am not bitter or anything but let me share five points of why it is better to be single and why is staying single a blessing and should not be a stigma.

1.  Strength in being alone.  

one cup? no problem

Ideally, your romantic partner brings out the best in you.  Have you heard of, "you complete me?"  Well, yeah it's true but only if you as an individual had been made whole before  entering into a relationship.  Being solo or single gives more time for self-awareness, self-mindfulness and self-reflection. Focusing on oneself is not possible with a partner as your attention is divided.   This gives the individual more time on building one's self in every aspect and with  this it builds and creates a stronger person, someone who is strong even alone.  

2. Bring it on

Self sufficiency is the key.  When you are single, there is no other way to go but be independent.  This means, a single person can at any time, anywhere or anyhow accept challenges as they come without considering anybody else.  There is no one to regard every time you needed to take a step towards your dream.  There is no one to hinder the things that you love to do.   Being single means journeying through adventures and taking that risk.  This means, more risk, more chances of achieving more dreams and more ambition.   You can just tell life, bring it on and take that challenge and be carefree.

Take that challenge

3. Friends more than romance

Friends more than romance

If you are single, you can have more friends and enjoy more moments with different people.  And because you are not attached romantically to anybody, you can practically go out with a lot of friends or know and meet more people.  Also, single people tend to stick more with good friends and even with family.

4. Creative experts

washi tape for crafting

Since a single person has more time to be alone and more time to be mindful,  this gives room to exercising the brain's ability to be creative, and best is if a single person devotes time to craft and art or musical instruments, more time to practice and more time for mastery.   When I ended my last relationship, i soaked myself with crafting, post card collection, bead making, even studying guitar which I did not fully prosper, maybe again soon.

5. I, me and myself

Alone but not lonely

Single but not ready to mingle.  Being single and not having a romantic relationship is a blessing.  You may not be ready to jump in a relationship now but do not worry.  Give yourself time to love you.  Enjoy the alone moment.  Make yourself whole again.  Give all that broken pieces to the divine creator, our God, our true lover.

Single but not ready to mingle?  No problem!

God bless everyone reading this.

Faith, hope and love

Banana cake and God's provision

Banana muffin & coffee

Today is the start of my working week even if  it's a weekend for everybody here in the UAE.  I slept late last night so it was kind of hard to wake up early.  Rushing to the bus, i found myself carrying only one bag.  I would normally carry one big bag and a small lunch bag.  When i noticed that I did not bring my lunch bag, I immediately looked at my bag to search for my purse and to my surprise again, it was not in the bag.  I went on doing my work while praying.  Lord, I truly trust you that you are enough.  Bless my tummy that I will be able to last the 10-hour duty without food.  Working in a weekend means less staff are on board, so i do not know whom to ask for food or borrow money.  But then I said again, God is enough, let this be my fasting day.  

The first few hours went by and suddenly I got a message from a friend who currently is quarantined in a hotel near Manila airport after flying home from Dubai for good.  She said that the result came back negative and she is free to go just waiting for the Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) to give the instruction on how she can go home after five days of staying in a hotel.  She was placed in a  twin-bed room alone, so i asked her what she was doing there.  She said it was her moment of silence with the Lord and Zumba.   I asked her how was the hotel stay.  She told me about the hotel and that she cannot really go out but she had a nice view.  The thing is sometimes they forget to give them food.  Good thing she brought banana cake from Dubai.  She told me that the banana cake sustained her for the whole five days especially those times they are given food late or when they do not like the menu.  Thanks to the banana cake.  I told her truly God provides and He sustained you with a banana cake, how sweet is that?

Few more hours the next shift came.  I haven't eaten breakfast or anything at all.  After one of my colleagues settled, she suddenly offered me something wrapped in an aluminum foil, guess what, yes, it's banana cake.  I took and said thanks to her.  After I kept it for my break, i suddenly realized what I told the Lord in the morning, God is enough.   The moment I trusted that God is enough, the Lord worked on it and  provided for me.  Banana cake saved the day!  

Recalling our Filipino priest here in Dubai saying even with enough can create a lot, I realized today that if we truly trust and settle on the idea that God is enough and surely will provide.

And that's my daily amazing miracle for today!

Through Night and Day - the not so popular lessons I learned

source:  www.imdb.com

Recently, the 2018 movie Through Night and Day suddenly made noises.   The movie stars Alessandra de Rossi and Paolo Contis who played Jen and Ben.  They were childhood best friends turned into boyfriend and girlfriend to almost husband and wife.  Their relationship was tested when the couple after their engagement traveled to Iceland to witness the aurora borealis as Jen has been wanting to see the aurora borealis saying that once she sees it she can actually die.  It was also in Iceland where they ended their relationship.  Fast forward after three years, Ben moved on and was about to get married in the New York where he originally wanted to settle with Jen.  Planning to move permanently to New York, Ben went back home to Baguio to sell all their properties.  Ben learned that Jen suffered from brain tumor and had brain surgery leaving her bald.  It was also revealed that the change in her behavior during the Iceland trip was due to her sickness.  Ben spent some time with Jen until the last sunset together where Jen died in the arms of Ben while watching the sunset after forgiving each other.

Since 2018, a lot of reviews and blogs have been made about the real life lessons or takeaway from Through Night and Day.  Let me share with you about the not so popular lessons I learned from this movie.

One-bag travel

1.  Travel Light.  Whether you are a solo traveler, couple or family traveler, always remember to travel light.  Carrying a lot of things burdens the one who carries it (especially boyfriends/husbands).  It adds pressure to a supposedly pleasure trip.  When traveling, always bring what is really necessary.  In life, we also can relate to traveling light.  If we keep on adding up unnecessary things in our life, it adds up our burdens thereby adding up pressure to our life.

Grateful journal

2. Journal.  The good old journal will never fail you.  It is a collection of memory and emotions written in a notebook.  Like in the movie, Jen collected memories through her journals.  She did not only write but also put ephemeral, memorabilia and photos that recorded their lives together even after the breakup.   Make your journaling creative and unique.   The possibilities are endless just like our daily adventures are.  

3. Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero.  Seize the day, and have little trust in the next one.  This was written by the Roman poet Horace.  When Ben and Jen traveled to Iceland, they made the most out of the moment, well most of the time at least.  When travelling with a loved one and enjoying every single moment, that is seizing the day!  It does not matter who likes the scenery or not, who enjoys the activity or not but the most important thing is that togetherness in being in that moment.  Those are precious moments that cannot be repeated, cannot be re-done, but will only be memories, which brings me to the next lesson.

endings could be beautiful beginnings

Camera is a must

4.  Do not forget to record moments.  If it weren't for Jen's documentation with cameras, go pro, instax, journaling, etc.,  Ben wouldn't have things to look back to after Jen has  gone.  Today would only be a memory tomorrow, record the moments so that there will be a lot of things to remember and review tangibly in the future.  When traveling, it is really essential to have at least a mobile with camera  to capture each moment but if you are able to bring those DSLRs, why not?

5.  Of burning bridges and building walls.  After the breakup of Ben and Jen, they stopped communicating, even prevented their families to get connected but what happened the bridges they have burned were the same bridges they walked on again and the walls that they built had to be forcefully broken to bring closure to the old relationship.  I guess it is all about healing and forgiveness that give closure to a broken relationship.  It is not advisable to burn bridges and build walls after  a broken relationship because it will only bring forth more regrets and what ifs. Burning bridges and building walls are both temporary solutions to stop the hurt.  It is only through forgiveness and letting go that bring peace to a person after a broken relationship.  

burn bridge, build walls?

So, those are my five not so popular takeaway lessons from Through Night and Day movie.  Let me end this blog with my favorite lines from the song, I will be here sang by Jen and Ben, "If in the dark we lose sight of love, hold my hand and have no fear.  'Cause i will be here."

God bless everyone.