My birthday bucket list: Five post cards to random friends

Send five post cards to random friends. Today, i have sent these post cards to different friends in different parts of the world.  Let's see how they will react.

One week post completion thyroidectomy

I just came from my checkup after one week of completion thyroidectomy.  It's a good news for my histopathology of the left thyroid is negative of cancer.  Praise God.  The next step will be the RAI or radioactive treatment.  Hopefully, injectables will be approved by the insurance.

Dr. Carmelo was so happy of the result.  He also said, "you have a lot of friends."  He also said that it is important to have a lot of friends for support.

He also discussed with me the preparation before RAI.

What to do before RAI?

1.  Five weeks before, all medicines will be stopped.
2.  Low Iodine diet, so no seafoods!
3.  Expect weakness and tiredness because the drugs have been stopped.

During the RAI, i will be inpatient for three days with all the amenities in the hospital including wifi so he told me to bring my gadgets.

The stitches have been removed and I feel well.  Actually, gained weight ha ha ha.

It's cancer!!

The doctor asked me, "You want the good news or the bad news first?"  Being a strong-willed woman myself, i boldly told him, "bad news!".  The doctor then said unfortunately the result of your biopsy is not good.  It shows papillary thyroid carcinoma.  The good news is that this type of cancer is easy to treat.  He further said, God forbids if he asks me what type of cancer I want, I will say thyroid cancer.  Cases of thyroid cancer have been increasing worldwide.  The cause is believed to be from radiation, like if you have lived in Japan during the Hiroshima atomic bomb explosion or in Russia in Chernobyl.

What?  I was not even born during the Hiroshima atomic bomb explosion and not in my life have i travelled to Russia.  Where could have i gotten this when in fact cancer is not in my family history?  I had a lot of questions in mind but since i just got operated on my right thyroid, i still have hoarse and low voice, i did not have the energy to say something.

That was September 14, 2015.

My ENT surgeon removing the drain a day after right hemithyroidectomy

My initial reaction:

The doctor told me that the other half of my thyroid needs to be removed, which means another dreaded trip to the operating room.  After six weeks of healing, then i will undergo radioactive iodine therapy.  The first thing i said was, "When?".  He said, that is a good question.  Then, he wrote on the consent and all the needed documents for me to sign and for insurance to approve.  I needed to get the other half removed as soon as possible.  I did not cry in front of the doctor.  My friend, Yolly, was with me who have been comforting me since the day before.  Apparently, she and other two of my friends have known the results before me.  Now i know why they have been delaying and why they have been hiding from me.  Anyway, after i left the doctor's office, i sat down at the patient's waiting area where my tears started to fall.  Then, i suddenly felt like urinating, so i told Yolly, "Naiihi ako (i want to urinate)."  I went to the public toilet outside the clinic without even waiting for Yolly.  She found me crying inside one of the cubicles.  All i asked her was, how can i get this?  I have never been to Russia or Japan.

The day before:

The day before my checkup, on 13 September, I asked my friend Yolly who is a nurse in our hospital to check on my results because I am also a patient in their clinic.  Before asking Yolly, I asked Harold, another friend of mine who works with me in the Medical Records.  I told him that i have signed a consent and if he can email me the results.  It was taking him a long time to get back to me, so i asked another friend to remind him.  To make the story short, the three of them tried to avoid me.  I became suspicious.  I became nervous that something was wrong with my biopsy.

Harold and Nova

Two of my friends who wouldn't pass for an acting job!!

 The best actress award goes to, Yolly!

The night before the checkup, i was feeling weird of these friends of mine who kept on ignoring me.  So, i told Yolly to check with Harold in Medical Records.  Unknowingly, Nova was sent by Yolly to follow up with Harold.  The next thing, Harold went up to the clinic and showed Yolly the result of the biopsy.   Apparently, they cried.  What Yolly just told me was the results cannot be discussed by a nurse because the doctor won't allow it.  She told me to just wait for tomorrow, anyway it is just few hours away.  Apparently, the three of them had a pact not to  tell me the result until i see my doctor.

The "bomb" day:

My appointment was at 3:00 p.m.   As early as 9:00 a.m., Yolly messaged me that she wanted to go with me in the clinic during my checkup.  I told her i can manage as i am feeling well now but she insisted and she said that she is my mother here in Dubai as i leave far from them.  This is very unusual for her.  I know she tried to hide what she knows and feels but then again as i have told her, she cannot be an actress.  At the same time, Nova also told me that she will go to the clinic when i come because she can just come and go in that clinic.  I also remember Tintin, our coordinator volunteered to accompany me during the checkup but told he i can manage.  This made me really suspicious.

I was prescribed B complex for my hoarse voice hoping that it will normalize soon.  After buying the medicine from Pharmacy, Yolly fetched me and brought me to her office.  When i sat, she told me, okay now, cry!  Tell me what you really feel.  Tell me what is on your mind.  I cried.  I cried big time.

Yolly called Tita Lydia to bring me home.  I was crying inside the car but it was so sweet of Tita Lydia  to sit beside me at the back and left her husband, Tito Phil drive.  It made me feel good that they are here for me and to comfort me.

I had headache because of too much crying.  I cried the whole afternoon.  I cried, in my mind saying I have cancer I want my mother!

After all this time....

It has been a while since my last blog entry.  I have been busy with the holidays and church service during Christmas here in Dubai.

One highlight of my Dubai Christmas is my first time to attend the nine-day Christmas novena mass alone, yes alone but not lonely.  It has been two years that i have no relationship and for the last four years of my stay here, I have always attended these masses with my ex.  Last year, 2012, I was alone.  Funny, how I felt free and peaceful even sitting alone during the mass and observing different families and couples hugging and holding each other.  There were moments that I shed a  tear or two not because I was sad.  Those were liberating tears.  Tears of memories.  Tears of recollection.

During this novena mass, one thing that I remembered is about repentance.  Fr. Tom, our parish priest, said Repentance is changing your mind and changing your ways. 

Fr. Tom also challenged us to a once a month "be nice day"  wherein we get to choose one day of each month (preferably our birth day) to be nice and not to say any negative things against people for the whole day.  So, there will be 12 months of "no okray day" for me.  February 2 is my second "no okray day or being nice to others day.  I hope i can sustain it until the next Christmas novena mass in 2013.

I have also been busy with my online shop - Ultimate beauty secrets.  This has helped me a lot with additional income to help me raise up my son alone and sustain the dialysis of my mother back home in the Philippines.  Tell you more about my family next time and my online shop. 

Ultimate Beauty Secrets

After the holidays, this new year brings new hope, new life and new challenges.  Stay with me as I continue to journey life as a single mom.