It's cancer!!

The doctor asked me, "You want the good news or the bad news first?"  Being a strong-willed woman myself, i boldly told him, "bad news!".  The doctor then said unfortunately the result of your biopsy is not good.  It shows papillary thyroid carcinoma.  The good news is that this type of cancer is easy to treat.  He further said, God forbids if he asks me what type of cancer I want, I will say thyroid cancer.  Cases of thyroid cancer have been increasing worldwide.  The cause is believed to be from radiation, like if you have lived in Japan during the Hiroshima atomic bomb explosion or in Russia in Chernobyl.

What?  I was not even born during the Hiroshima atomic bomb explosion and not in my life have i travelled to Russia.  Where could have i gotten this when in fact cancer is not in my family history?  I had a lot of questions in mind but since i just got operated on my right thyroid, i still have hoarse and low voice, i did not have the energy to say something.

That was September 14, 2015.

My ENT surgeon removing the drain a day after right hemithyroidectomy

My initial reaction:

The doctor told me that the other half of my thyroid needs to be removed, which means another dreaded trip to the operating room.  After six weeks of healing, then i will undergo radioactive iodine therapy.  The first thing i said was, "When?".  He said, that is a good question.  Then, he wrote on the consent and all the needed documents for me to sign and for insurance to approve.  I needed to get the other half removed as soon as possible.  I did not cry in front of the doctor.  My friend, Yolly, was with me who have been comforting me since the day before.  Apparently, she and other two of my friends have known the results before me.  Now i know why they have been delaying and why they have been hiding from me.  Anyway, after i left the doctor's office, i sat down at the patient's waiting area where my tears started to fall.  Then, i suddenly felt like urinating, so i told Yolly, "Naiihi ako (i want to urinate)."  I went to the public toilet outside the clinic without even waiting for Yolly.  She found me crying inside one of the cubicles.  All i asked her was, how can i get this?  I have never been to Russia or Japan.

The day before:

The day before my checkup, on 13 September, I asked my friend Yolly who is a nurse in our hospital to check on my results because I am also a patient in their clinic.  Before asking Yolly, I asked Harold, another friend of mine who works with me in the Medical Records.  I told him that i have signed a consent and if he can email me the results.  It was taking him a long time to get back to me, so i asked another friend to remind him.  To make the story short, the three of them tried to avoid me.  I became suspicious.  I became nervous that something was wrong with my biopsy.

Harold and Nova

Two of my friends who wouldn't pass for an acting job!!

 The best actress award goes to, Yolly!

The night before the checkup, i was feeling weird of these friends of mine who kept on ignoring me.  So, i told Yolly to check with Harold in Medical Records.  Unknowingly, Nova was sent by Yolly to follow up with Harold.  The next thing, Harold went up to the clinic and showed Yolly the result of the biopsy.   Apparently, they cried.  What Yolly just told me was the results cannot be discussed by a nurse because the doctor won't allow it.  She told me to just wait for tomorrow, anyway it is just few hours away.  Apparently, the three of them had a pact not to  tell me the result until i see my doctor.

The "bomb" day:

My appointment was at 3:00 p.m.   As early as 9:00 a.m., Yolly messaged me that she wanted to go with me in the clinic during my checkup.  I told her i can manage as i am feeling well now but she insisted and she said that she is my mother here in Dubai as i leave far from them.  This is very unusual for her.  I know she tried to hide what she knows and feels but then again as i have told her, she cannot be an actress.  At the same time, Nova also told me that she will go to the clinic when i come because she can just come and go in that clinic.  I also remember Tintin, our coordinator volunteered to accompany me during the checkup but told he i can manage.  This made me really suspicious.

I was prescribed B complex for my hoarse voice hoping that it will normalize soon.  After buying the medicine from Pharmacy, Yolly fetched me and brought me to her office.  When i sat, she told me, okay now, cry!  Tell me what you really feel.  Tell me what is on your mind.  I cried.  I cried big time.

Yolly called Tita Lydia to bring me home.  I was crying inside the car but it was so sweet of Tita Lydia  to sit beside me at the back and left her husband, Tito Phil drive.  It made me feel good that they are here for me and to comfort me.

I had headache because of too much crying.  I cried the whole afternoon.  I cried, in my mind saying I have cancer I want my mother!